The Pilver

BB Gunning

Posted on June 17, 2009 by kristiane

BB gun

Here in fabulous new town, there are about eight or so kids within a few houses with whom The Max has begun friendships. Our old home was above restaurants on a major street with no kids around at all. Even if there were, I certainly wouldn’t have allowed Max to walk around looking for playmates. This has worked out amazingly for the both of us. He gets to run around and be a kid, I get to do the dishes without someone demanding I play Mouse Trap.

Luckily, the hip yard on the block to play at is ours. So, I can hear him outside the window even when I cannot see his lips moving. It’s ideal, and, my house is much cleaner than the last. When it’s raining or when the outdoors have become lame, Max might have a friend come up here to play.

Today, Frank came up. (of course his name is not Frank). Frank was toting two guns. The guns had those lovly orange tips which indicate they are fake or toy. Frank then told me they were BB guns but not to worry because he took the BBs out. Frank lives two houses down with his grandparents, sometimes. Other times he lives with one or more of his parents. He’s a funny kid who has more than once just walked right into our home blasted right past me and into Max’s room to ask if he wanted to go play.

Now back to those guns. I understand they are only BB guns, but I still felt strange about having some kid bring them into my house. I want to know who hands a seven year old a BB gun and says, “Have Fun!” then allowing them to bring them around the neighborhood. I’m not really anti-gun, but this still feels wrong. Maybe they did not knowingly allow him to bring them to my house, but in the case of guns, if you are insane enough to allow a child to gain access to weapons, you are basically allowing it. Especially in the case of little boys that don’t understand consequences; They are going to take them if they are there.

Now, I know for certain that Max will never be allowed to play at this kids house. There’s BB guns flaoting around the place. Am I too strict about this? Should a kid be allowed to carry around a BB gun? Are there laws about this? I barely know a thing about those types of guns. Someone clue me in.

Posted in Blogroll, family, happiness, health, home, how to, kids, Life, survey | Tagged BB Guns, Guns, kids, NRA, weapons | 14 Comments

Us Weekly circa 1981

Posted on June 14, 2009 by kristiane

US Weekly was only called US back then. But if I titled the post “Us circa 1981” you would have probably expect a post about me and my sisters in 1981 sitting in the mud sharing a bag of M & Ms, cause that’s who ‘Us’ was to me at that point in my life.

I was looking at old tabloid style magazines on ebay last week, but the lack of photos for the listings bothered me. I found a group of three US magazines from 1981 for about five bucks. Even after I added the shipping to the cost, it was cheaper per issue than the ones on the news stand down the street, and this was vintage gossip!

It’s quite a change from what you see nowadays. The pages are not glossy, there’s very few photos in color, and there’s a whole lost less smut. Also, they wrote about actual celebrities who are still recognizable today. I doubt in thirty years people will pick up one of today’s copies and have a clue about the John and Kate stupidity that takes up every cover at the checkout stand currently.

I couldn’t think of a good way to convey any articles. They are wordy with few pictures. But the pictures are great, and the ads are even better. Enjoy!

pantyhose

Three cheers for eggshell pantyhose containers! In the eighties, my mother was the taupe pantyhose queen. What a weird color to want your legs to appear. Silly taupe. She bought them by the dozen and I overtook the shells and would find infinite uses for environment unfriendly packaging.

old ept test

Not only did the articles have more words, the ads were essentially articles themselves. Here we have Humphrey Lloyd and his lovely wife, who bought this bizarre ept test and were able to find out that she was going to have a baby TWO HOURS LATER?!?! What are the parts used in the test up there? Do I need a medical degree to figure them out? Two hours…I cannot get over that. When I found out about Max, I used an at home test. The directions said results in three minutes and the results were two lines and not one. Quick, easy, over. Here you wait through all of Prime Time television and then have to decipher whether you see a brown ring inside of the orange and yellow muck.

I can imagine Humphrey getting all crazy-like during the two hours and driving his poor wife batty. I don’t buy that Humphrey is a doctor, he lied. He looks like a news anchorman or a Mercedes salesman. He might be classy, but he will definitely talk your ear off. He appears a decade or two older than the average father of a newborn. That’s why he’s on the verge of falling onto the little lady. Humphrey just screwed his retirement plans.

Tom Selleck

I was planning on saving this for the end, but I just showed you panty hose and a home pregnancy test. I need to swing the mood to something more masculine or I am going to lose readers. This is the best photo to complete that job. It’s Tom Selleck and he’s covered in all that Tom Selleck hair! Those shorts are a thing of strange beauty that must have only worked in the 1980’s. I’m sure every woman and gay man alive thought Tom was IT for them. Also, notice that he wears CBS logo clothes? Can you imagine stars today walking around in shirts carrying the name of the place that pays them?

Indiana Jones Ark

This was the last photo I took and it was after beating a housefly with this issue…so the magazine did not lie flat for the scan.

I haven’t see Raiders of the Lost Ark in years. But I remember thinking it was a better than average flick. The reviewer of the film rips it apart as though it’s just as poorly directed as Howard The Duck.

…our hero is never allowed to display any emotional attachment to anyone or anything except his trusty whip.

Of course not, he’s Harrison Ford, not Robert Redford. Love for his whip is what we want from him. Dr. Jones doesn’t need a lady friend tying him down. He needs to travel the world and save archeological artifacts.

Benson and Hedges

Daughter: Here ya go dad, Happy Birthday!
Dad: Sweetie! You are so thoughtful, what is it?
Daughter: I love you dad and I love our Benson & Hedges smoke breaks together to escape my crazy mother. Here’s a box business cards for lung cancer specialists.
* they cry a little, and then light up*

There’s more. I might let you see it later. I also bought one issue from 1984 with a cover story about Micheal Jackson and his women, plural. I need to get to the bottom of that ASAP.

Posted in Blogroll, family, funner, happiness, health, how to, Life | Tagged 1981, Harison Ford, magazines, Michael Jackson, Smoking, tabloids, Tom Selleck, US Weekly | 11 Comments

Copycat

Posted on June 11, 2009 by kristiane

Recently, I was visiting Billy at veggemacabre. He was posting old cell pics and I thought, “HEY! I’m gonna do that too.” I actually posted on his blog that I was going to do that. Recently I got a new phone, dumped all the old pics onto my laptop, where they will sit unused and unlooked at for a long time. So, here is a perfect way to display some pointless pictures and make an easy post.

275

There is a good story behind the many straws in this drink. The drink was not mine. It was not anyone’s I was with. It was not anyone’s I knew. But I did put the straws there. The unknowing straw receiver drank out of the glass with foreign straws. He may have used MY straw. Ew.

147

A year ago, to the date, I was on vacation. I was driving through Idaho, and spotted Chocodiles. I’d never had any, but apparently they are rare and mysterious. So I bought all of them. Spell check is having a heyday over the word “Chocodiles”.

083

I was at a bowling alley with friends one time in a funny little town. Someone in this bowling alley in this funny little town thought it necessary to make sure no one else watered this plant.

253
Sometimes, at work, we get food made for us. Like tater-tots.

068

Once in awhile, I dye my hair or parts of my hair pink. I think Max was four when he saw me do it for the first time, and then snuck into the bathroom and copied me.

069

When I decided to move to my last place, I fell in love with the front door even before I took a step inside. Yup, 1108 Grand.

That was kinda weird. I’m not sure I like this post, but I am hitting “Publish” anyhow. I’m heading out of town this weekend, to a place with no phones, no internet, no nothing. Hopefully I will remember to charge up my real camera before I leave 🙂

Posted in Blogroll | Tagged internet. bowling, photos | 8 Comments

Head of the Class!

Posted on June 9, 2009 by kristiane

A couple years ago, I joined the modern past time of watching old TV shows on DVD, as previously stated in my Top TV shows on DVD post. It is rewarding, yet expensive. A great invention to help with the cost (though not with the selection) are sites like hulu.com.

head of the class 1

Despite the selection of old TV shows coming my way, there was a void I needed to fill like the chips in my toenail polish. There was still no way to watch Head of the Class.

I searched hulu, youtube.com etc. I tried to see if Amazon was carrying the series. I even found a website dedicated to capturing signatures of other HOTC fans to convince the evil empire DVD folks to make the darn things already.

I deemed watching the show impossible. But I remembered a quote today, from Leo Tolstoy, “Without knowing why I am and why I am here, life is impossible.” Dammit Leo, you’re right. I looked one last time. It’s out there folks, ready for your night time enjoyment. It is the sort of activity that will be done at night. You are sitting home on a Wednesday, there’s crap on TV. Might as well gather the kiddos around the family computer and return to the simple life of the 1980’s. It’s a place where teens of all backgrounds gathered in one classroom and shared one common bond: braininess.

howard hasseman

Seriously, that is pretty much all I remember of the show. It was smart kids being taught by the evil guy from The Flight of the Navigator. But here, in the classroom, he was not evil. He was a friend. He didn’t need to teach them calculus or advanced social studies. They could figure that out in their own genius brains. No, he taught them…life.

head of the class

Well, except for maybe that little braided girl, she was annoying.

I’d better watch them now and stop writing so I can remember if it was worth the 87 google searches I’ve labored over during the previous few years.

Watch the intro. Love the intro. Then click here to enjoy. God bless you AOL.

Posted in Blogroll, entertainment, funner, happiness, home, how to, internet, kids, Life, movies, television | Tagged AOL, Chicken Kickers, DVD, Head of the Class, kids, smart, TV | 8 Comments

Rocky

Posted on June 7, 2009 by kristiane

Not long ago after moving, I went to the local movie store. My guess is that five or ten years ago it was an amazing place with stocked shelves full of every movie known to man. It’s now as most retail movie rental shops have become; mostly thirty copies of each new release and only the most recognizable of the films from the past. I bet there’s more Wii games for rent then there are old release comedies. We are living in a Netflix world…

There’s quite an array of movies for sale. They need to get rid of all those thirty copies after they’ve served their time on the store perimeter. Also, they are weeding out their older selection. For whatever insane unthinkable reason, they are weeding out the Rocky movies.

rocky

My guess is I was about eight or nine when I watched the original. I was with my dad and he loved the movie. He and my mom had seen it in the drive in the summer it came out. The movie scared me. Especially Pauly, Adrian’s brother. He was the cruelest person I had ever seen real or fictional. When he threw that turkey outside, I wanted to sucker punch him and hug Adrian.

So, back in the movie rental store, I bought the original Rocky as well as the most recent Rocky Balboa (the only one I had not seen as of yet).

I’m sure the whole world know the story of how this film came about, but if not I will educated you. Sylvester Stallone was a unknown actor who had been in a soft porn and a few blah films that no one had ever seen. He was flat broke and wrote the screenplay for Rocky in three days. He sold it, with the condition he would play the starring role. The film then became an outrageous success, a classic.

judge dredd

Stallone, however, outside of Rocky (and the Rambo series, I’ll assume though I have not seen those) has been a Razzie winning Hollywood flop maker.

Here’s what I love about Rocky. It’s gritty. Partially due to the fact that it’s 1976 and filming quality was not what it is now. Add to that the fact that it’s based in the slums. The interior of all the homes of the characters are dingy and dated. The lighting is poor and there are unflattering shadows cast on everyone’s face. They certainly did not overspend on a makeup artist. Many of the scenes are filmed on the street, and those are understated and spectacular. When people are walking around or standing outside and talking, it appears that they are just walking around and talking and not in the middle of a movie set. Though it does not appear amateur. The story comes so close many times to being cheesy and the cringe is building inside my shoulders, and then it falls back.

Rocky has phenomenal characters. Like Mickey, he’s a hoot. He’s the product of a million years of unfiltered camels making that voice unmistakable. Rocky himself seems like too nice a guy many times. Then you wait a few minutes and then you’ll see him punching doors and yelling like a crazy drunk husband. He never does cross that line to a point where you dislike him. My favorite scene is when he visits Adrian in the pet store. He stands there and talks for a few minutes while she listens awkwardly, and then leaves. After the door closes she says, “Bye Rocky.” Oh, sweet love.

This film was made during that time when PG-13 ratings did not exist, and they wanted to keep it in the PG realm. My guess is that some violence and language may have been omitted or just not written in to avoid the R rating.

Then, of course, you have the soundtrack. I think it consists of the one song, reworked in different ways. But we all know that song. nah nah NAH! nah nah nah nah NAHHHH! The best is when it’s played on the piano softly in the background. I don’t really get too amped when it’s blaring during inspirational scenes, probably as a result of the overplay the song’s had the past three decades.

The film does not come with an original concept or story line. The underdog winning is in nearly every sports movie that is made. It does however present it in an manner that I love. Also, Rocky is an effin’ happy guy.

Rocky Balboa was alright, actually my second favorite after the first. I just bought another of the series at the same store today, I’m gonna go watch it now. It’s the third, where Rocky and Adrian are all yuppied out and Mr. T pities the fool who steps into the ring with him. Also, Hulk Hogan stars. It’s the most gimmicky of the series. Soon, I will own them all and be in the market for a new series of vintage films to become obsessed with for a period of time. Any suggestions?

Posted in Blogroll, happiness, health, Life, movies, music | Tagged boxing, movies, Rocky | 4 Comments

Harlan

Posted on June 3, 2009 by kristiane

I was 21 years old when I started working at a trendy little coffee shop in Seattle. I loved coffee, loved Seattle, loved the smells, the music, the quirky-dressed employees and the eclectic group of customers. I don’t think I will ever hold a job I treasure as much as I did Bus Stop Espresso.

I’d worked at two different shops beforehand, so I thought I knew the ropes pretty well. Seattle coffee is, however, an entirely different monster…especially ten years ago. This was the heyday of dotcom Seattle.

A barista will learn the regular customers rather quickly. Most come and go after their drink is prepared. Others linger, reading the paper or clicking on their laptops or visiting with other customers. The best ones become your friends. I can safely say I made very few friends while living in Seattle that were not attached to that coffee shop in some way. I still talk to many via facebook etc. I’d say there was a core group ( a clique, if you will) that totaled around fifty. One of those fifty was Harlan.

Harlan was old. I have no idea how old, but quite possibly the oldest regular there was. He was crazy and strange and the most caring man you could come across. Harlan referred to me only as “young mother” as I met him when I was about 22 and looked 17. The Max was an infant.

Harlan could come in each day and buy a cup of coffee and a newspaper. He would then do the crossword perfectly from beginning to end. Then, precede to talk with everyone. He would bring us presents and trinkets and candy. He would non-nonchalantly drop a hundred dollar bill into the tip jar on holidays. He would talk to you about the weather, politics, or the awful or stressful situation you were in.

About a year after I met him, Harlan started a public access show. It was HILARIOUS. I did not have cable where I was living at the time. So, I would drive to my ex-husbands house, that I had since abandoned, and tolerate that awkwardness for a half hour each week so that I could sit and watch Harlan’s show.

I moved 70 miles away from Seattle for a couple months, but continued to worked at the coffee shop. One day, Harlan gave me a check for gas money. It was a lot. A whole lot. I sat there and cried. I wasn’t sad, I was not even embarrassed to take it. It was just touching that he did that for me. But it was not just me he would do things for. Every person who Harlan was friends with must have been convinced that he believed they were insanely special, because that is how he treated you.

Beyond being a nice man, he was indeed hilarious. He would wear strange hats and cook up octopus and bring it to our parties with a whole bunch of drunken twenty-somethings. He’d buy novelty items at Archie McPhee’s and give them to the employees. He was a gem. He was karma at it’s finest.

Harlan passed last week. The last time I saw him was last summer, on my yearly trek back west. He was sitting, busily doing the crossword, just being…Harlan.

Harlan had enough money, he had enough friends, but he had a heart bigger than all of the baristas put together. This is no exaggeration.

harlan

Sometimes, I am asked who my idol is, and who I aspire to be like. I always hated that question, as I just want to be Kristiane. But after thinking about Harlan, and his life, and how amazing he was, I am going to say him. Harlan is my idol. I miss you, friend.

Posted in Blogroll | Tagged coffee, friends, karma, people, Seattle | 5 Comments

The Pilver’s Summer 2009 Movie Preview

Posted on June 2, 2009 by kristiane

Memorial Day passed. The school year has nearly expired. My car’s heater is stuck on the hottest setting. Summer is here! I glorify attending movies any time of the year, but it is most rewarding in the summer. There’s always a slew of excitement-packed/CGI-filled/action-figure-inducing films that are sure to be available for sale on DVD just as the Christmas shopping season begins. I embrace the commercialism of this American tradition. I love it.

I already saw Star Trek. Did I mention I saw it twice? Thumbs up. I also took The Max to Night at the Museum last weekend. I wasn’t disappointed, but I expected Ben Stiller and his cronies to be poor to fair, which I think it was.

Here’s some other movies I will be viewing while drinking Cherry Coke:

Up

I don’t think this looks as promising as many previous Pixar movies. I hope to be pleasantly surprised when I watch it.

*I went an saw Up since writing this…not bad at all. Better than I presumed.

Transformers 2

Stop sniveling haters. True, the first one was 1 1/2 stars for the story. But surely the 4 star worthy robots made the film, at minimum, entertaining for a couple hours. I long to watch the robots in transformation and follow it up by killing other robots. If I desired an epic story, I’d go rent Slumdog Millionaire. Someday there will be a robot killing movie with an Oscar worthy plot. I accept that it will not be in this series.

Year One

I’m hoping to laugh. The kid from Juno is in it. He’s a fun time. I’m not expecting a killer plot, just laughs.

Terminator 4

(or whatever they’re calling it)

This sequel, twenty-five years after the original is a maybe. I’ll go if I get around to renting part 3. It will not be superior to T2. Why? If Linda Hamilton is not making voice overs as Sarah Connor, it’s not entertainment. Also, can you imagine if the casting director got all comical and re-cast Edward Furlong as John Connor?

Because, this is what he looks like today.

Imagine this guy trying to save the world.

I’m going to skip over summer now and head straight into fall. This October brings about the most anticipated children’s movie of my long, long life.

Watch that video, for real. Here’s why I am drooling for this film:

A) It’s Where the Wild Things Are! It’s a classic. Kids read it today…my generation read it…and the generation before read it to their kids. Most are acquainted with the story.

B) There’s a lack of computer animated hooey. We have come to expect amazing visuals in childeren’s films, but often this is the focus of the movie, which leads to less than decent story.

C) This is a guess, and a hopefully correct one: There doesn’t seem to be a lot of times where adults are on film. I think an ample number of live action kids movies could be helped with cutting out the time adults are on screen.

There’s a bunch more movies I did not review, because I don’t necessarily want to see them. Especially Ice Age 3. Why must every animated movie now come in groups of at least three?

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I changed the look here, yes. I might change it back or at least make it similar to what it was as this light background is annoying me. For now, you get the mannequin from the surplus store staring into your soul…

Posted in Blogroll, entertainment, family, funner, happiness, how to, internet, kids, Life | Tagged 2009, movies, star trek, summer, Terminator, Transformers, Up, Where the Wild Things Are, Year Zero | 16 Comments

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