My favorite U2 Song…(maybe favorite song…ever)

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This is a Completely Hypothetical Situation

love_thy_neighbor

Three little boys ages seven, eight, and nine were playing in the seven-year-old’s backyard.  The house was three stories, with a different residence on each floor.  Separating the back from the front yard was a wire fence, about three and a half feet tall.  The boys decided to climb over the fence, as opposed to opening it and going through the old fashioned way.  As they were one leg over,the person who lived in the walk-out basement unit stepped outside her door.   And this was the conversation that followed.

Lady:  If you do that (that being climb over the fence) again, I’m gonna smash your heads into the sidewalk.

Three boys: No your not.

Lady: Then I’m gonna call the cops and they’ll throw you in jail where you’re gonna get beat up by the big black n*****.

The boys blew her off and continued their climb over the fence.

The seven year old’s mother waited until the boys had retreated to the front yard, and went to speak with the neighbor lady. Then this happened. (I am paraphrasing a completely hypothetical situation)

Mother:  So, I was sitting the the other side of that (points) window while you were getting after the boys and I heard everything you said.  I don’t appreciate you using the word n***** in front of my son.  This makes me question your intelligence.   But beyond that, it is NOT OK for you to threaten violence against little kids.  If the boys are doing something wrong, I would appreciate it if you came to me.

Lady:  Your son has been a smart a**ed little piece of sh** since you’ve moved in.  And I hate n*****!

(the lady then steps outside her front door and holds her head  up proudly)

Lady:(directed at the world, not at anyone in particular)  I HATE N*****!  I HATE N*****!

The lady then looks severely at the mother

Lady:  Are you a n***** lover?  ARE YOU?!

Mother:  I am a people lover, and you are clearly insane.

At this point, the 17 year old daughter of the lady interjects, both in words and physically stepping between her mother and the the mother who has come to her door.

Daughter: Mom, you have an anger problem, go back inside.

Then she focuses on the mother who has knocked on her door.

Daughter:  When you moved in, your son said something mean to my mother.

Mother:  Once again, I would appreciate it if you came to me, and did not try to reason with a seven year old child.  I don’t want to have to call the police.

Lady: (clearly not calm) CALL THE POLICE!!  CALL THEM RIGHT NOW N***** LOVER!

Mother:  You are insane.  (the mother probably should not have told the lady how insane she was repeatedly)  If this continues I will get a restraining order on you and then you will have to move.

Lady:  No, you will have to move.  I’m not going anywhere, the landlord loves me!

Mother: (not aloud, only in her head)  Ummm…somehow I doubt that

The mother leaves after realizing that the point she was trying to make to the lady was not being conveyed.  What was the point?  You don’t threaten violence against little kids.

The mother told the other boys’ parents about the situation.  They rapidly dialed 911.  The lady lied to the police, only said that she lost her temper, but that she never threatened them.  The kids were told that though they did nothing wrong,  but they are to avoid the lady at all costs.

Yeah, I’m glad that didn’t really happen, that would have sucked.

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There’s a really good story behind this video…

…and how and why I found it.  Someday, I might tell you the story.   Right now I have four minutes to publish a blog to keep up, so here, enjoy CHICKEN BUTT!!!

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Cold and Cruel

I found out my favorite great-aunt (OK, so she’s my only living great aunt, but if I had twenty of them, she’d still be my fave) was diagnosed with lung cancer.  Ugh.

cold-turkey

So, tomorrow, I’m going cold turkey.  I’m not sure I will make it.  And I am certainly sure I will not update on it.   We’ll see what happens.  I just cannot afford the stupid gum.  I think ciggarette companies must be the sellers of the gum. It’s that expensive.  I must now also find alternate means of looking super cool.

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Road Trip Fund Raiser

I tried.  I went on a road trip in April, and it was so much fun.   I was going to skip a road trip out west this summer.  I was OK with that.   My OK-ness has ended.  I need to be in the middle of Montana singing to the radio.  And I need to sleep in a hotel where I am slightly scared because of the toothless folk that hang out by the vending machines.   I want to see Wall Drug in South Dakota and I want to hang out in Washington with friends and family.  Thing is, I blew all my money on New Orleans.

Don’t feel sorry for me.  I chose this.  I just want to get in the car and drive so badly, it’s driving me insane. Has been all summer. So, I am hosting a Pilver Summer Vacation Fund Raiser Extravaganza!!   I need to raise 2000 dollars for missing work and the vacation itself.   Here’s what I have so far:

I will give you a fortune:  ten bucks

I will send you a picture of my left knee:  fifteen bucks

I will post your picture on my not that popular blog:  five bucks

You can buy my half burned green tea candle:  4 bucks

Big Ticket Item:  Fungus Head!!!:   2000 dollars!!  (I’m not joking, he will not go for less)

fungushead

I’m sure I will part with other things and fake talents, just ask.  But for serious.  I need to get out of town, it’s an itch.  I’m gonna scratch it.

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Sarah Called

I have a sister, Sarah, who is awesome and loving.

My awesome and loving sister Sarah and I talk on the phone a lot.

When my awesome sister Sarah and I are not able to reach each other, we tend to leave voicemails that do not convey a real message, they are usually hair band or TV theme songs from the 1980’s.

Today’s 1980’s song message from my awesome and loving sister Sarah can be found in the video below.

A couple photos include sister Rachel, who ought to sing more into the phone.

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Talk amognst yourselves…

I don’t know what to say. Blogging every day is not so easy as it sounded.

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Happy Birthday Pilver!!!

Ah, the terrible twos.  Looking forward to potty training this MOFO.

Happy Birthday

Of course, we got a cake.  I think I am going to keep up the cake tradition, as then I get to eat it.  And the face on the baker will forever be priceless when I ask them to address the confection to “The Pilver.”

To everyone whoever reads this and comments…and reads without commenting…and comments without reading: Thanks.

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My Head Fell Off

So, I woke up this morning and my head started spinning. And spinning…and spinning… It didn’t explode, which is what I was afraid of. It just fell off. It’s sitting there on the floor right now. This clearly makes typing a bitch. I don’t want to put it back on for the moment. So that’s all I got today.

headless

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It’s Friday…In New York

And darn youtube for disabling embedding on the real video….

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