This is a Completely Hypothetical Situation

love_thy_neighbor

Three little boys ages seven, eight, and nine were playing in the seven-year-old’s backyard.  The house was three stories, with a different residence on each floor.  Separating the back from the front yard was a wire fence, about three and a half feet tall.  The boys decided to climb over the fence, as opposed to opening it and going through the old fashioned way.  As they were one leg over,the person who lived in the walk-out basement unit stepped outside her door.   And this was the conversation that followed.

Lady:  If you do that (that being climb over the fence) again, I’m gonna smash your heads into the sidewalk.

Three boys: No your not.

Lady: Then I’m gonna call the cops and they’ll throw you in jail where you’re gonna get beat up by the big black n*****.

The boys blew her off and continued their climb over the fence.

The seven year old’s mother waited until the boys had retreated to the front yard, and went to speak with the neighbor lady. Then this happened. (I am paraphrasing a completely hypothetical situation)

Mother:  So, I was sitting the the other side of that (points) window while you were getting after the boys and I heard everything you said.  I don’t appreciate you using the word n***** in front of my son.  This makes me question your intelligence.   But beyond that, it is NOT OK for you to threaten violence against little kids.  If the boys are doing something wrong, I would appreciate it if you came to me.

Lady:  Your son has been a smart a**ed little piece of sh** since you’ve moved in.  And I hate n*****!

(the lady then steps outside her front door and holds her head  up proudly)

Lady:(directed at the world, not at anyone in particular)  I HATE N*****!  I HATE N*****!

The lady then looks severely at the mother

Lady:  Are you a n***** lover?  ARE YOU?!

Mother:  I am a people lover, and you are clearly insane.

At this point, the 17 year old daughter of the lady interjects, both in words and physically stepping between her mother and the the mother who has come to her door.

Daughter: Mom, you have an anger problem, go back inside.

Then she focuses on the mother who has knocked on her door.

Daughter:  When you moved in, your son said something mean to my mother.

Mother:  Once again, I would appreciate it if you came to me, and did not try to reason with a seven year old child.  I don’t want to have to call the police.

Lady: (clearly not calm) CALL THE POLICE!!  CALL THEM RIGHT NOW N***** LOVER!

Mother:  You are insane.  (the mother probably should not have told the lady how insane she was repeatedly)  If this continues I will get a restraining order on you and then you will have to move.

Lady:  No, you will have to move.  I’m not going anywhere, the landlord loves me!

Mother: (not aloud, only in her head)  Ummm…somehow I doubt that

The mother leaves after realizing that the point she was trying to make to the lady was not being conveyed.  What was the point?  You don’t threaten violence against little kids.

The mother told the other boys’ parents about the situation.  They rapidly dialed 911.  The lady lied to the police, only said that she lost her temper, but that she never threatened them.  The kids were told that though they did nothing wrong,  but they are to avoid the lady at all costs.

Yeah, I’m glad that didn’t really happen, that would have sucked.

About kristiane

killing spiders with my laser eyes.
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3 Responses to This is a Completely Hypothetical Situation

  1. Guise says:

    If it wasn’t hypothetical it would certainly explain someones reference to BSC neighbours recently. Luckily, it was hypothetical, because it would take someone with the patience of a saint to have not given the woman a hypothetical headshot. Hypothetically speaking.

    On a side note, the phrase “anger management problem” and “anger management issue” really steams me, because it just sounds like an excuse to make someone who hasn’t learnt to use an indoor voice or grow the hell up look decent and worthy of sympathy rather than disapproval. There’s a world of difference between a mental health issue and someone being a complete dick, more people need to stop covering for it.

  2. DJ D says:

    “There’s a world of difference between a mental health issue and someone being a complete dick, more people need to stop covering for it.”

    AAAAAAY-MEN, BROTHER.

  3. Amy says:

    Poison that bitch.

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