Something I don’t often share is my mostly mild and occasionally severe anxiety disorder. And I don’t share because any attention I might corral for it terrifies me. But what happened today seems to be an annual occasion and I am curious if anyone else can relate.
I was camping, and enjoying myself tremendously. On the drive home the smoke started to thicken-it’s wildfire season here in the West- and sure as can be by the time I came home the sky was gone and had been replaced by an orange haze of thick and wretched smokey air. Logically, this is simply the result of a large plume of smoke from a nearby fire settling into our valley. But in my slightly disturbed mind I now need to convince myself that I am not in some sort of Mad Max or Terminator like tragedy.
Once I get home, I shut myself in the house and ensure I’m surrounded by current news and social media showing that the world is still turning and life is peachy. And it is. The rest of the day turns out ideal. I have family over and nobody is disfigured from a nuclear tragedy, I make a run to the grocery store and the shelves are not wiped in an apocalyptic frenzy. But I still wasted those precious moments of my life worrying that the end had come…Because of the smoke resulting from a wildfire I knew about well in advance.
I know my brain does this. I anticipate such anxious events and make certain I avoid certain movies and situations that escalate such vibrant and imaginative scenes in my brain. But they still occur here and there.
I can’t be the only one though. Who else prepares for the worst in any break from the expected? Tell me I’m not the only one.
Remember last month when I was going to write for ninety days about how great summer is? That was funny. I’ll never do it again, pinkie swear. Just after I dropped my ambition the temps here rose to 110 and stayed horrid for weeks. I can’t pretend to love summer so let’s move on from my mistake and wish this website a happy anniversary!
For it’s eighth year, I decided to again purchase an actual domain. So now if you type thepilver.com you’ll go to the same place you are now, you just won’t need to type the WordPress part. Fancy!
Since I’m actually paying I’m hoping to use this more. I keep telling myself I don’t have enough time, but I do. I’ll find it.
Worst Pilver Cake yet. It’s a day old muffin from work with a pencil candle. And I promise nobody is eating this. I’m actually at work, not working but playing with my blog. Better get back to making drinks for tourists!
I’m not in school right now. I have two pesky semesters between myself and a diploma. But I still get amped when summer vacation arrives. Work feels more carefree, sleeping in seems like the thing to do (regardless of the fact I’m awake by six no matter what).
I work where a decent bulk of my interactions every day are with people on vacation. School not being in session makes every day appear happier in some way. Sometime shortly after mid July this feeling fades in favor of socializing and new pencils. But for now, let’s enjoy the assumed freedom of summer break.
Large mason jars of iced tea. Easily in my tops ten summer essentials. After the morning coffee is finished it becomes iced tea time and that runs until bedtime.
I’m literally falling asleep as I try to finish this and I’m cutting it short, therefore more tea for me tomorrow!
One sure sign that summer has arrived is the freshly chopped locks on boys. Excess hair makes you hot and I imagine that losing a ton of it during the summer months makes your head happy. I can only imagine as I have always had long hair. Though each spring I imagine chopping off my long red hair and donning a pink spiky do. I’ll actually never do this as I’m scared of hair cutter’s remorse. Perhaps if I were to be given a large sum of money, on a dare, I could do this. Hey, Someone start a go-fund-me account and when it hits ten grand I’ll go under the shears.
Until then, I’ll just enjoy the fresh buzz cuts on cute little kids and dream about what hair freedom feels like. Happy short hair season everybody!
I never really liked summer for the lacknof school. School never bothered me (exception, 8th grade. The only year I ever experienced really cruel mean girls).
Melissa what’s-her-face aside, I liked school. Didn’t always love the homework though. So on this day of loving things about summer I’m gonna celebrate no homework. I’m thinking about having no homework because I have about no time remaining to finish this and get to sleep for work tomorrow.
Toodles. May your next few months be assignment free!
I live in a log home with no central air (or heat). You want to get hot in the winter or cold in the summer you do not have the option of using the thermostat. I grew up in a climate where the temps got very very very cold and also rather hot with added creepy humidity. I only knew how to change the temp in the house with the dial thermostat in the living room.
I thought every home was wired with one of these puppies. Then I moved into my first apartment and learned that you don’t always get to pick a magic comfort number and the home obliges. Sometimes you have to turn the heat up and down and same with the loud blowing box in your window to cool the house. While luxury and status may favor the home with vents and quiet, I have come to rely on the whir of my window a/c to sing me to sleep a few months each year. When I wake up after a night of such bliss I’m greeted in the morning with a chill. It doesn’t last as I then turn my electronic cooling devices off until the steamy air resumes to save cash.
Those chilly comfortable nights because of you, dear a/c, make my life complete. Thank you.