Late this afternoon I had an I need to eat moment. It was a million degrees out and my protein bars were in a melty state. I happened to be in a strip mall parking lot with my nemesis of fast food places, Burger King. But I was so hungry I decided my ban of this establishment ended today. Mostly because the drive through was empty and that meant I could get food faster.
In 2005, that’s right fourteen years ago, I got food poisoning from Burger King. It was a brutal bout of vomiting that led me to the conclusion that I would never again eat at the king of burgers. That flame broiled scent they emit from the building haunted me for years. It’s not that I am holier-than-thou and never eat fast food. I try not to, and it’s relatively easy as I live forty-five minutes from the nearest fast food joint. But occasionally I need food in a rush and I’ll chomp down a quarter pounder.
Back to today. I studied the menu for a moment before telling the lady I’d like a whopper junior with cheese meal. I paid for my order and secured my dinner. I then parked in the lot of Burger King to eat. I used to look sideways at the folks who were eating in their cars in parking lots, but now I am one of them. I get it.
So I unwrap the burger and the flame broiled smell doesn’t bother me. Good. Progress. I decide to remove the bottom half of the bun to sniff the burger patty to see if it has a foul smell. No, we seem to be ready for consumption. But then I look at the patty. Oh Em Gee. Don’t ever look at a fast food burger patty. Ever. This is what I saw.
So that’s not exactly what I saw, but it’s all I could see. This is a close up of a whopper junior burger patty. I ate this. Now I don’t want to receive hate mail from Burger King defenders. I have nothing to compare this to. Wendy’s burger patties could be more disgusting in appearance by a mile. I just don’t know.
Here is a not close up picture of my meal.
Not as offensive. Here you can see the red of the tomato and the green of the lettuce and it looks like food.
I asked my kids what they though the first photo might be. Lucy Girl said a cookie. Hank the Tank said a pizza covered in cat vomit. Then they asked me what it really was and I told them they’d have to read my blog.
Five hours have passed since I ate this. So far so good. Although food poisoning does take many hours to surface. Perhaps I can allow Burger King to re-enter my list of acceptable places to eat on the run.