It’s still about six months away, the large curvaceous number that promises gray hairs and love handles. I don’t know why I am not looking forward to it. It’s not exactly forty. I am going to take a stab and say it is because I have not done what I expected by this age. I have no degree. I own no home. I have a job any eighteen-year-old could handle. I was married…but whoops! I am now looking for a do-over to that one.
I think I feel as though I have not had enough fun in my twenties. I started the decade married and confined. I was divorced and lost by the middle and now at the end I am finally easing my way back into whee! mode.
So I think there should be a list that I need to accomplish before the day comes. A list that will re-define me (at least in theory) as young and adventurous.
1. Start wearing banana clips again.
The 80s are supposed to be back in full swing, and I think these should be too.
2. Drink one time until I get sick.
I never do. I am very cautious in this area. I bet I would be a great table-dancing-stupid-drink-girl.
3. Pierce my belly-button.
I did this one. When I was 15. I think the fad is passed now, but after a few years that area of my body is probably never going to see the light again, so I should do it now.
4. Dominate a night of karaoke.
I used to do this from time to time, not the dominate part, but the sing part. It’s been too long. I am going to dedicate songs to perfect strangers.
5. Protest something
I always see the picket people boycotting something. I want to join them, with temporarily green dyed hair.
6. Watch Back to the Future Trilogy back to back…
…while eating nothing but Cool Ranch Doritoes and Cherry Coke.
7. Apply for jobs I know I am under qualified for, but that I want regardless.
Like a writer for Letterman. He would love me.
Ok, I have a lot to do. I better get started.