Dear IRS,

I am not going to try and pretend to understand how you calculate my return. Every year, I go to a website, plop in my numbers and never lie about them. I tell you my income, my school costs, the dollar amount my day care charges, and how much I payed for medical insurance. After giving you all the required information, I press the button marked “calculate your return” and every year a number pops up larger than the year before. This year, you outdid yourself.

The amount is obscene and while I appreciate it tremendously, I cannot figure out why I am getting “back” more money than I make in three months of pouring coffee and carrying plates. I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am, but just because you are throwing all this money at me does not mean I am going to grant you any special favors.

I will accept it, but please direct deposit it into my bank account as it may be painful for you to see me in person. I imagine someday, you will take your money elsewhere and I will actually be required to earn all the money I see each year. My guess is that the feeling self worth will outweigh my current ecstatic emotions by miles. But please note: I am indeed ecstatic.

Your fair weather fan,


About kristiane

killing spiders with my laser eyes.
This entry was posted in Blogroll, funner, how to, job, money and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Dear IRS,

  1. dailytri says:

    What a great post! Yes, the IRS seems to be a little unorganized with its accounting methods.

  2. Stephanie says:

    Like you, I get money back at the end of every year. And it is usually enough to jump start my savings for a vacation overseas. This year, I OWE the IRS $32. Yes, you heard me–$32.

    And I must say, if my particular $32 gets added to the pot of money being funnled into Robert Nardelli’s Pie-In-The-Sky “Save Chrysler” Plan, I’ll be pissed.

  3. kristiane says:

    Stephanie- I will spend your 32 dollars wisely. Maybe buy you some beer when I go to Seattle šŸ™‚

  4. Stephanie says:

    Sounds like a PERFECT investment, if I do say so myself. šŸ™‚

  5. Michele says:

    I usually (always) get money at the end of every year. This year, I owe those money sucking bastards $282.

    BUT… since you are also a single mom (like me) and getting an obscene amount back. I am going to pretend the IRS gave YOU my refund. And I hope you have a kick ass time spending it on something totally and completely unnecessary. šŸ™‚

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