I am not going to try and pretend to understand how you calculate my return. Every year, I go to a website, plop in my numbers and never lie about them. I tell you my income, my school costs, the dollar amount my day care charges, and how much I payed for medical insurance. After giving you all the required information, I press the button marked “calculate your return” and every year a number pops up larger than the year before. This year, you outdid yourself.
The amount is obscene and while I appreciate it tremendously, I cannot figure out why I am getting “back” more money than I make in three months of pouring coffee and carrying plates. I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am, but just because you are throwing all this money at me does not mean I am going to grant you any special favors.
I will accept it, but please direct deposit it into my bank account as it may be painful for you to see me in person. I imagine someday, you will take your money elsewhere and I will actually be required to earn all the money I see each year. My guess is that the feeling self worth will outweigh my current ecstatic emotions by miles. But please note: I am indeed ecstatic.
Your fair weather fan,