I have been certainly lazy at the least lately, as far as pounding hands on computer and hitting, “Publish!” I have exactly 47 unfinished drafts as well as two unfinished college classes, a messy messy house, and a sack full of Christmas presents that I have not yet wrapped and have hopefully not been found by the curious seven-year-old that roams the house in his boxers as though he lives here with no one else.

So, I decided to break trend and talk about some New Years Resolutions that I will never be able to attain fully. It’s a bit early being as we haven’t hit the guilt and regret of The Big Daddy Holiday but I thought I’d try to be the first on the block to prepare a clichéd list of generic hopes for my personal life. Ready for the fun?

Be a Better Parent
I have been told by every teacher, babysitter, daycare provider, and lady on the street corner that I have a smart son. Thing is, he is too effin smart. He can argue logically why it was completely necessary to eat 17 chocolate chip cookies in the middle of the night while I was fast asleep. He can cry and produce real tears on cue when I am disappointed with him, but…he gives me hugs whenever I want. I just want to have one month without a teacher calling me to let me know that “Max decided to paint the floor today, because the paper was not large enough to accommodate the entire solar system. Do you think you can mention to him when he gets home why this was a poor choice?”

Eat Better
I have changed weight since the whole weight issue only 1/2 pound. I have a weigh in on January 10th, let’s hope to get that up to 3. Lately I have been on a kick of, “If it’s free shove it in your mouth” Which allots me many bowls of oatmeal and toast, but not much more.

***Quick not that is way off topic, as I am writing, there are two obviously intoxicated ladies hopping into their luxury SUVs heading out of the 5 star restaurant whose parking lot is outside my window. They are yelling “Merry Christmas Everybody!!!”. Don’t do this please, cabs are fun.

Quit drinking, smoking, shooting up heroin, starving myself, binge eating, procrastinating, and stealing large automobiles for scrap metal.

Sorry , those ladies were annoying and I lost my train of thought.

The last year of the first decade of the new millennium is approaching, and if you think hard about it, that means something.