If you are a woman. You just might have them. I am not sure how the men feel about pant sizes. The majority that I know probaly couldn’t care less. An on that note, men, I think the baggy pants look needs to go altogether. I sincerly thought as those who are about my age would reach adulthood they would buy pants that fit. But it’s still an epidemic. And those who wear the strange Sex-Pistol legging type jeans don’t count in the equation.
I am down to one pair of skinny pants, the rest were so horribly out of fashion that I donated them to the Salvation Army. This particular pair of pants was bought by yours truly during my running-every-day-phase that lasted just a few months. That and I stuck them in the dryer. They sit on the top shelf of my closet waiting for the “I feel skinny” days. Then I try them on and they still don’t fit and back onto the shelf they go.
This past week I have been on the type of involentary diet that comes about by not properly digesting ANYTHING. I gatherd my strength up enough to drive to Kawalski’s today to buy ginger tea and chicken soup. I wore my best oversized overcoat and topped my second day old braid with an enormous stocking cap and didn’t even attempt at putting on make-up. I was the bag lady you avoid in the aisles and believe me I was avoiding you as well. After making my purchases I drove back home and ate and drank my medicines of choice.
Later, I was getting ready to head to the doctors and decied I was probably as skinny as I have ever been in my adult life. So I got the rubbermaid tote and doubled it’s use and used it as a step stool to reach the holy pair of pants from heaven.
I was standing there pale as the snow that has not yet gotten dirty, about to put my shirt on and I saw how discustingly skinny I was. You know that bumpy bone on your chest?
The one that is pointed out on Nicole Richie when she is not having children? I could see it. (and I am not at all that skinny)
After grossing myself out with myself I put on some other clothes and went to the doctors. I am going to be just fine apparently. But to make sure I stopped on the way home and bought some cheese and butter and whole milk and other fatty foods.
I am not feeling better yet, but I cannot wait until I do. ‘Cause those extra ten or fifteen pounds will be an awesome thing. Even if they only allow me to have an appetite for the bottle of wine that makes my stomach turn every time I lovingly glance at it.
And a cheeseburger…I really want a cheeseburger.