Skinny Pants


If you are a woman. You just might have them. I am not sure how the men feel about pant sizes. The majority that I know probaly couldn’t care less. An on that note, men, I think the baggy pants look needs to go altogether. I sincerly thought as those who are about my age would reach adulthood they would buy pants that fit. But it’s still an epidemic. And those who wear the strange Sex-Pistol legging type jeans don’t count in the equation.

I am down to one pair of skinny pants, the rest were so horribly out of fashion that I donated them to the Salvation Army. This particular pair of pants was bought by yours truly during my running-every-day-phase that lasted just a few months. That and I stuck them in the dryer. They sit on the top shelf of my closet waiting for the “I feel skinny” days. Then I try them on and they still don’t fit and back onto the shelf they go.

This past week I have been on the type of involentary diet that comes about by not properly digesting ANYTHING. I gatherd my strength up enough to drive to Kawalski’s today to buy ginger tea and chicken soup. I wore my best oversized overcoat and topped my second day old braid with an enormous stocking cap and didn’t even attempt at putting on make-up. I was the bag lady you avoid in the aisles and believe me I was avoiding you as well. After making my purchases I drove back home and ate and drank my medicines of choice.

Later, I was getting ready to head to the doctors and decied I was probably as skinny as I have ever been in my adult life. So I got the rubbermaid tote and doubled it’s use and used it as a step stool to reach the holy pair of pants from heaven.

They fit.

I was standing there pale as the snow that has not yet gotten dirty, about to put my shirt on and I saw how discustingly skinny I was. You know that bumpy bone on your chest?


The one that is pointed out on Nicole Richie when she is not having children? I could see it. (and I am not at all that skinny)

After grossing myself out with myself I put on some other clothes and went to the doctors. I am going to be just fine apparently. But to make sure I stopped on the way home and bought some cheese and butter and whole milk and other fatty foods.

I am not feeling better yet, but I cannot wait until I do. ‘Cause those extra ten or fifteen pounds will be an awesome thing. Even if they only allow me to have an appetite for the bottle of wine that makes my stomach turn every time I lovingly glance at it.


And a cheeseburger…I really want a cheeseburger.

About kristiane

killing spiders with my laser eyes.
This entry was posted in Blogroll, happiness, health and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Skinny Pants

  1. dohopoki says:

    I wear baggy pants, they’re easier to take off.

  2. kristiane says:

    I guess I never thought about that aspect of it. But then if I need easy removal, I wear sweats.

  3. dailytri says:

    I’ve never owned baggies, but I do have a pair of carpenter jeans. Those tend to net me the most comments and looks, but I have no idea if they’re even in style.

  4. tony says:

    some of us look so young we can pull anything off lol that being said as of late i have realized myself alot of my clothes have to go also . . btw on most i would tell the to toss the skinny jeans out you are one of the few people that can pull them off without a problem . P.S easy removal for a man is always a good thingdue to the fact we want to be ready for a little lovin ay any point and time . mmmm dirty tony

  5. kristiane says:

    Yes, dirty tony! That’s gonna be my new exclamation for you…goes along the lines of “Stupid Alek!” 😉

  6. mklasing says:

    I love skinny pants on women—but not on women that are not skinny. And tip for the ladies–if the bottom of your back pocket sits in the middle of your butt–then rest assured the jeans look terrible on you.

    As for me–I have a small waist and round butt so jeans never fit me unless they are a little tight–therefore I usually have to try on 30 pair to find one that fits. Recently a pair of lucky brand skinny pants fit me perfectly but I looked in the mirror and expected to see a guy with a mesh shirt on and eyeliner-so I didn’t buy those–plus they were a million dollars. Where have the days gone where I could go to the Gap, buy 4 pair of jeans for $50 total and they all fit?


  7. Billy says:

    I hope you feel better!
    I held a funeral for one of my old pair of jeans. We had been through a lot but it was time to part. I swear Taps played in the distance when the garbage truck pulled up. Too many holes and jean shorts will never make a comeback.

  8. kristiane says:

    Billy-Was that the pair with the velcro?

  9. Billy says:

    oh no. I still have those. They may have exposed me but they have to completely fall off for me to get rid of them.

  10. kittymao says:

    I have three stacks.
    Skinny pants,
    pants that fit one day and the next they don’t,
    and pants that DO fit.

    and I hate them all.
    Cause in my Fitting pants pile, I have a size 7, a size 11 and 2 size 9’s.
    And in my Skinny pants pile I have… a size 7, a size 11 and 2 size 9’s.

    Stupi clothing companies. At least dudes can pick their sizes – 34/38, or whatever.

  11. Michael says:

    boot fit, gap…then i just pick whatever color I want. it’s pretty simple. Although the feel of the cloth is uber important and is my main deciding factor. (has to be soft yet thick enough)

    My very stylish, chic cousin from New York occasionally takes me to Nordstroms when she visits. She picks out stuff and pays for them. I wear them and receive complements on my “sense of style.” Guys do have it easier. I think everyday that passes brings me more confirmation on how glad I am to be a guy. Women do look better though.

  12. Michael says:

    ah dammit….that sounds pretty chauvinistic. Okay, women are probably smarter on average and they also have a much higher tolerance for physical pain, despite popular belief.

  13. kristiane says:

    It’s fine Michael. The female race is well aware what the better looking gender is.

  14. Nane says:

    i love skinnies…!! 😀
    ….and beauty is pain..
    it’s the ultimate curse that every woman must bear…
    i’m not trying to be shallow, but looks are important…!

    but ah well… what do i know?? :p

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s