Seemingly every town and city across the United States hosts a natural foods store, our town is no different.  Last night, after a week of hacking from bronchitis, I stomped into Bear Foods determined to find a potion to relieve my symptoms or hopefully cure me.

Quickly I found cough syrup that would bring me the sensation I was drinking hippies.   I had time to kill. The Max was learning how to become a man at his weekly Cub Scouts meeting which would not be over for another forty-five minutes.  I roamed the aisles in search of absolutely nothing.  Seasnax are what was found.

Seasnax claim to exist as a healthy alternative to chips, and strangely addictive to boot.  Trying new foods is an activity I am totally down with, but Seasnax does not appear to be food.  Have you ever left a plastic container in the fridge for so long that it’s contents are dried out and decrepit to the point of nonrecognition?  If so, then you know what Seasnax looks like.

The chipper cashier grew giddy as she saw my snack purchase and repeated the label’s claim, “These are so addictive!” she told me.  Perfect.  I was hoping I could become addicted to a food that cost 64 dollars a pound.

There are five sheets of delicate green seaweed in each package.  Gingerly, I tore off a piece and popped it into my mouth.  I’m not sure how to properly describe the taste.  The flavor is not offensive to the point you need to spit it out immediately, which was a relief because the seaweed sort of sticks to your mouth like a Listerine Breath Strip.  I think if I bent down at the ocean, and peeled a section of seaweed off a rock and ate that, the taste would be similar.  You get the sensation you are eating the ocean.

What I cannot figure out is how they become addictive.  Unless the reasoning lies in that you cannot believe what you just experienced, therefore repeated bites follow.

I won’t be eating the rest of my Seasnax.  But I will send the remaining sheets to you if you give me your address.