DEWmocracy Candidate Review

This week at Safeway I waltzed through the single soda bottle aisle and proved Bono wrong,  I did find what I was looking for:  All three flavors in Mountain Dews’ newest marketing ploy called Dewmacracy.  This morning I’m going to jack myself up on caffeine and review them for you. 

I first grabbed the Distortion bottle. I figure it to be the closest to the original flavor.  Distortion claims to be “lime blasted”.  Folks, it’s not Mt Dew with the addition of lime, it’s LIME BLASTED!  And, I approve.  Imagine drinking a Mt Dew and alternating sips with licks from a lime juice popsicle.  The thing I have against Distortion is color.  Distortion’s lime flavored, the natural choice for the design team is to make it green.  However, even if it did win the Dewlection I’d bet the bigwigs at Pepsi-Co. would push another flavor forward.   There’s sure to be confusion with hard core Dew fans grabbing the lime enhanced bottle.   I am sure it’s happened already.

Now I’ll give Typhoon a try.  As I am about to take a sip, I am pretty certain Typhoon will be reminiscent of Tahitian Treat, it’s defined as “Punch of Tropical.”  Fruit Punch is pretty unterrific in my book.  Here we go…yuck.  The first thing my taste buds noticed is the lack of Dew. It is a flavor all its own.  That fact, in and of itself, is not what ruins Typhoon. It’s the underwhelming fruit punch flavor.  The soda is far less carbonated than the lime flavored, Distortion, though I did just open the bottle.  It tastes like liquid pineapple dum-dum lollipops. NEXT!

White Out is defined as “smooth citrus flavored.”  I’ve saved it for last, thinking it  will win me over.  Part of me wants to know how they colored the soda white, the other part of me is scared about how they colored the soda white.  The previous two have artificial colors listen on the ingredients, but White Out does not.  All three list brominated vegitable oil in their ingredient lists.  So, before I taste this, let’s go wiki “brominated vegatable oil” and see if it will grow me another ear.

OK, don’t click here if you want to not think about the detrimental effects of brominated vegetable oil.  It is listed by the FDA alongside saccharin.    My Mt Dew habit may have just been ceased in one quick search.  But, the blog must go on, and I need to take a sip of White Out before my skin turns green.

Eh, it’s not bad.  It does have a Dew taste to it.  I think they used half regular Mountain Dew flavors and half 7-up to create this beverage.  It’s a gentler Dew.  I just don’t believe that the extreme attitude associated with Mt Dew is going to carry on with the wimpy version.  It’s Nursery School Dew.

Now, having all the knowledge I need to make a decision, I feel similar reservations as I did in the previous presidential election.  My favorite was clearly Distortion.  I hoped for a new color Dew.  Color is an important factor in sodas that will not last longer than a year on the shelves.  Remember Pitch Black Dew?  Can I vote dohopoki one more time?

About kristiane

killing spiders with my laser eyes.
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6 Responses to DEWmocracy Candidate Review

  1. Amy says:

    I vote Supernova.

  2. Will says:

    I’m not a Dew drinker because I am neither a gamer or X-treme but I will say, for X-E sake, that they bring back Pitch Black. I missed the boat on that and wish I had another chance. Much like Pepsi Spice.

    Great review.

  3. i go for Distortion its just the best

  4. Pingback: Mtn Dew Pitch Black-The Review That Doesn’t Matter | The Pilver

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