Man, just fourteen more days! Christmas this year will consist of me and The Max getting down with some carols and hopefully sledding at the park nearby. He has two sets of grandparents who desire to make him love them more with their present selections. Then there’s me, who just wants to buy him cool toys that I want to play with. Include the random aunts, uncles and cousins and that boy is overloaded come Christmas morning with things I have to break out of clam shell packages and/or assemble.

In our family, the adults really don’t go insane over buying each other presents. If one sees something that the other “has got to have” it will be bought. As a general rule in our family, presents are for the kids. This rule is fine by me, being as I am in the lowest income household of the people I am related to and I would feel silly accepting lavish gifts while handing out junk.

However, what if I were to make a amazingly commercial wish list, things I would never ever think to buy myself, things I certainly want but do not need? What would I ask Santa for if he allowed me on his lap? I’ll tell you right now.

A Wii

When I was maybe 10, we were given a Nintendo by a childless uncle. I played that thing until all the blowing in the world would not clean those games. After that all gaming systems were lost on me. I never became a fan of Playstation, X-Box, or any other system showing off more than 8 bits. Then I played a Wii. I really love it. What I love most of all is that you can download NES games and play them as well. Essentially, I want to be given a three hundred dollar toy so I can play Mario 3.

A new Car

Part of me wants a Smart Car. Parking would be great. Road trips would be cheap. I could trade smug looks with drivers behind the wheels of Hummers. The rest of me still wants an Element. I could fit more in the car for those road trips. Crashes would not include certain death.

An All inclusive Cruise

Don’t get me wrong, I would take a road trip over a cruise any day. However, cruises sound so…lazy. I could use some lazy right now. Eating, sleeping, playing in a pool with a couple few hour adventures in foreign warm cities. I think I would get into that.

Gym Membership

I really love working out. More or less because when I do I A) gain a bit of muscle on my spaghetti arms and B) allow myself a half hour to an hour with my iPod, which I never touch otherwise. Every gym I have been a member of is the sort with mostly men and where both genders wear ratty sweats and baggy shirts. I should join a club where the beautiful people go and buy some spandex.

Labeled Purse

Last year, I bought a boring black purse at Kohl’s. I am still using it today. I like pretty girly things that smell nice and have ruffles, but honestly, I would rather never carry a purse. Think about it, you could walk around with both hands free for simultaneous high fives. Thing is, if a girl sticks a fat wallet in her back pocket, the bulge is kinda weird looking. So, I think I should get a purse fancier than my own…or maybe a fancy fanny-pack.

Snow Plow

I live in a building with no parking lot, no drive way, nothing. However, just outside my bedroom window is a parking lot whose owners insist on plowing between three and six AM. I would gladly plow that mofo’ for free if they let me do it during daylight hours.

Ladies and gentlemen, that was my list. Short, slightly boring, and most certainly incomplete.

I want to know what you would put on your list. Commercial items only, none of this “time with family” crap. 😉