I’m pretty sure that unless this your first visit to The Pilver,you are aware that I don’t love a single thing more than the Christmas Season. It’s not the Big Day that I crave. It is the special foods at the grocery stores, the ridiculous decorations at the mall and of course, the 24/7 Christmas radio stations that begin pumping out fluffy songs as early as the day after Halloween. Those tunes help me turn into a pile of holiday affected mush for two months out of the year.
Even so, I have issues with some of the songs they replay ever hour. Some of them are awful noises that bother my soul. I have a theory that the mass majority of Christmas songs created after 1969 are un-good, to say the least. I am not speaking of songs that have been re-done by other artists, but rather those than are new and original pieces. I hold a notion that Christmas songs, TRUE Christmas songs, are those which we consider the classics. There’s exceptions, to every rule as well as this one. These do not fall under the exceptions list.
7. Christmas in the Northwest
If you don’t live in the Pacific Northwest, chances are you have never heard this song. I encourage you to watch this video. Not because it’s a good song, or even a good video. Watch it because I need a second opinion on whether or not this couple that made the video is trying to be serious or insanely cheesy. Look closely at 2:06 to see them induce an awkward viewing moment as they…um…share a tree? Then go out and purchase a turtleneck. Do they still make those?
6 Mary Did you Know?
It’s just great that Kenny Rogers and Winona Judd decided to question the Virgin Mary herself. As though she was unaware…I think she’s on top of this one guys.
5. Grown Up Christmas List.
Listen, Amy Grant, MY grown-up list does not include those peaceful loving things. It has such items as: a patio for my apartment, a cheap and responsible babysitter who has zero life so they can come over at any time and an endless supply of chocolate, potato chips and wine.
4.12 Reckneck Days of Christmas
I know some rednecks, I am even related to some. I just don’t get this guys humor. Also, this song is annoying.
3.Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)
Oh John, why did you write this? Why did you sing it? Who decided to let you record it? Are they still alive? Can we hurt them?
2. Email Santa
If anyone ever approached me to let me know my son had talent worthy of exploiting I would have a hard time allowing him at a young age to get into showbiz. However, I would be sure that if he did, I would not let him put such rubbish into the homes of millions. Poor kid is going to end up in head-to-toe black leather and peircings trying to remake THAT image for the rest of his life.
1.The Christmas Shoes:
Yes, I have no heart. Some angelic little boy wants to buy pretty shoes for his dying mother so she looks beautiful for Jesus. I hate this song. I think I despise it so much because I have this hunch that the songwriter wrote it for the sole reason of inducing tears in menopausal women. It’s like a Lifetime Movie set to music. Barf.
That’s my list. There’s more I couldn’t fit that I could mention. But now I am going to go and try to listen to some I enjoy, either that or find some chocolate, potato chips and wine.