I am in most ways a simple person who gets jollies out of simple things. Now I am going to tell you about one of those simple things:
I work downtown and therefore have to park my car in a ridiculously priced parking ramp. On my walk to work from said ramp I pass a building that has no storefront but is always having trucks go in and out through a large garage door type entrance. I couldn’t tell you what is done in this building but I would like to thing that it is a shady car stripping operation with a bit of smuggling on the side. The other day I was walking like a chicken because of the weather to get back to my car and I noticed a transparent object sitting in front of the building. I was in a hurry to make it across the street before the lit up little white man turned into an orange hand. (Which I always have wanted to high five by the way) So, I ignored the clear mound and went on my way home.
The next day I was proactive and took my cell cam out just as I was approaching the mystery object. It was an ice sculpture of a little pic in a Buddah-like pose. I imagine that in the next month there will not be an opportunity for the pig to melt. So I get to see it every day! There has to be a weird story behind why the pig is there,but I would rather you made one up for me.
I think the buddha pig is a calling card for a shady white supremesist group of importers. Importers of counterfeit bacon. Since the law is only on the lookout for counterfeit bacon ranchers in the summer months, the pig statue will have safely melted by then, leaving no trace of its slippery origin. The pigs in question have been spotted throughout the years all over the world. In tropical countries they are made out of sand, which safely melts during rainstorms.
It is well known in these circles that the buddha pig means the location it is parked outside of is the entrance to a pork black market if you will. This is all very top secret though, and you would do well to forget you ever heard it. And by all means, do NOT pour salt on the pig. No one who has committed this act has ever been heard from again.
Kris is correct-I once was drawn into the power that the buddha pig commands. I spend an untold number of months working on a counterfeit bacon farm called “Bacos Farm” I once suggested that we make the Buddha Pig marker out of jello so we could eat him quickly if the law showed up. I was shunned for my heresy and given 39 lashings with actual bacon–ohhh the horror of it all. I later tried to pour salt on the pig for revenge, I was captured and forced to do voice-overs in Winnie-The Pooh movies for years. They made me suck helium all day to get Piglet’s voice just right–now everytime I see honey I break out in hives.
I am amazed at the responses, and quite pleased that you both seem to know the same back story. I think I will dress the pig tomorrow. Cause no one will look at me funny when I do that at all.
No wonder we don’t eat pork anymore.
mom-I thought it was cause you made us all convert to Judaism 😉