Wanna Watch Me Butcher a Chicken?

If the answer is no, you should probably click away from this page now.  Because I am GOING to butcher a chicken, just for you.  Actually, I don’t show the killing, just the chopping.  If you are familiar with how one butchers chickens, you will know that my skill is not that of a world class butcher.  Feel free to give me pointers, but please don’t yell at me for doing it wrong, I am well aware of my amateur skills.

Mr. Pilver took the smellier job.  He killed the birds and skinned them out in the hot sun yesterday.  I used my pregnancy card to stay indoors away from the heat and the bees.  And then he got stung, I felt terrible.  I have, in the past, done every part of the butchering EXCEPT the actually killing.  I cannot slit throats, it’s not in me.  People sometimes inquire if it’s really gross or difficult.  No, it’s not.  The only thing that is truly unpleasant is that the bodies are still hot when you work with them.  Not at all like the refrigerated meat you buy at the grocer. Alright, blah, blah, blah, I am growing tired of my own writing.  Let’s make some meat for the freezer!

About kristiane

killing spiders with my laser eyes.
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8 Responses to Wanna Watch Me Butcher a Chicken?

  1. Dan says:

    I gotta admit I’m impressed! I figured you had already gutted the bird before you started, I was wrong. I gotta admit I did laugh about the butt bubble.

  2. DJ D says:

    That’s incredibly impressive! You just went off on that thing. I’ve carved up a few rotisserie chickens before, but nothing like that. I don’t think I’d even know the difference between the liver and the heart if I saw them. I wouldn’t know what I was digging out of there other than it’s something dark and bloody. How long did it take you to get that good at it?

    • kristiane says:

      I feel I should point out (thought it was obvious) I sped that video up so it would be less boring. I really think you would know the difference between a liver and a heart if you saw them lying side by side. Maybe someday I’ll draw you a picture.

  3. Berdo says:

    Would it look bad if I asked if you had a video of the killing? I never saw that before.

    Good job on the butchering though. If you are doing it wrong, it still is much better than if I attempted that.

    • kristiane says:

      I don’t have a video of it. We take them and hang them by their feet with their bodies in an upside-down plastic milk jug with their heads sticking out the bottom. (The bottom is cut open wider, so that they whole head fits out.) Then Mr. Pilver slits their throats. The reason for the milk jug is so that when they’re flapping after they die, they won’t break their wings or flop all over the dirty ground. I think they have some videos on YouTube of it. Make sure to search for humane chicken butchering.

  4. What? No turning the carcass into stock? No feeding the raw carcass to your dog? Ms. Pilver! I really did expect you to be more GREEN! 😉

    (Raw chicken, contrary to popular belief, and raw chicken bones, WILL NOT hurt your pet.)

    • kristiane says:

      My dog has no teeth left. She can’t handle bones. And because of the bees, we really had to cut short the outdoors portion of butchering, which is why we tossed the carcasses.

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