Halloween Costumes That Don’t Suck

Whoopie!   It’s fall!  It officially time to smell leaves, pumpkins, and the inside of rubber masks!  Today, we will discuss Halloween costumes that don’t suck.  I always prefer when a costume is homemade.  The bagged up varieties from Target or a costume superstore are fine, but the best and most creative get-ups are always those that people have carefully assembled on their own.  There are some types of costumes I just hate, most notably the “I am too cool to dress up t-shirt worn by men:

We get it.  You don’t want to be uncomfortable.  Just don’t bother dressing up or try and think of something to wear that IS comfortable.  This just makes you look like a party pooper, and party poopers ought to stay home.

Secondly, the “I just want to dress trashy for one night a year” ensemble worn by women.

If you want to look like a hooker, go as a hooker, or Tila Tequila.  At least that’s creative.  You don’t actually look like a police woman…or nurse or whatever.

OK, let’s look at some costumes that don’t suck:

Ah, kid costumes.  This one is cute, and it gives the impression that the wee one does not smell like poo.

This may be my favorite.  Decent choice for those who want to dress comfortably as well.

I’m not sure if this is offensive.  So, I am sorry if you are offended.  It reminded me of a bearded lady from a carnival.  Also, I cannot tell if it is legit.

I love The Office. Going as Dwight is a superb option.  Sending your kid as Dwight is far better.

Babies are tough to be creative with.  The pea-pod option is overdone.  Instead send your wee one as another meatier variety of food.

Let’s end this with a group costume.  Fine job done by these Tetris pieces.  However, when they disperse and mingle, it makes less sense.

Any thoughts as to what you are going to be this year?  You only have one month and eight days remaining!

About kristiane

killing spiders with my laser eyes.
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24 Responses to Halloween Costumes That Don’t Suck

  1. Here here on all of the above!
    As a vegan, I don’t think I’m supposed to like the baby-dressed-as-a-turkey, but it cracked me up!
    The party I’m going to has a theme: Mad Science. Frustrating theme, but I’m working on it…

  2. Andrea says:

    I don’t know what to go as this year since I work at a nursing home and if we can dress up I don’t know what to wear. The old lady with the lost puppy in her bottom may not be a nice choice this year…… And well anything scary is out of the question. I am in need of some ideas.

  3. Ally says:

    I vote max goes as dwight

  4. Guise says:

    The sexy costumes, I’ve noticed the trend for Horror Movie Characters ‘sexy’ female alternatives, the Miss Krueger with red-green striped dress with claw scratch across the belly and fedore, and the Miss Vorhees with an oversized hockey jersey (even though Jason never showed much inclination to hockey besides grabbing some guys mask). At least those costumes are fitting to theme (and kinda nice to ogle at). A while back I discussed, with Dio from X-E, female horror characters and I still hold Pinhead is hot either way.

    There does need to be a trashy version of Halloween, where girls dress up as totally skeevy versions of professions and go out in public totally wasted. “Halloween Extra Night” Parties, or some shortened version, would seem apt.

    Halloween night I’m at a party. Correction: I’m at a wedding reception with a murder mystery game. No costumes, but someone will die.

    • kristiane says:

      Eh, you’re such a dude.

      • Guise says:

        I’m not sure whether to say “thanks” or not…

      • Guise says:

        Oh and, hey, hen parties recently are scary in this town. Scarier than Halloween.

        You see a white limo with pink ribbons on the wing mirrors, you better head for cover, cos hanging out the window will be some middle aged woman wearing a skimpy costume like the one pictured, trying to hold in the cheap drinks they had before they got picked up.

        The limo opens and out pours an entire brigade, gathered around a leader (adorned with “L” learner plates and several prophylactic devices) who will then stagger in to a stream of bars, getting increasingly intoxicated and audible from four blocks away.

        Along the way the group will lose their wounded, who can be found hanging open mouthed over bins or sat crying on the curbside unable to string together a coherent sentence to explain the issue upsetting them.

        Hen Parties.

  5. zenestex says:

    I usually go as a Jedi or Sith. I have to so that I can justify owning 4 (soon to be 5) lightsabers. My goal is to get my wife to join in on the fun by going as a Sith–I even bought her (me) Asajj’s lightsaber a few months ago. She’s all stuck on True Blood characters though, so I’m fighting a losing battle here.

    A few of my female friends outright admit that Halloween is the one night a year they can dress like a hooker and get away with it. While I enjoy the scenery, I always appreciate real costumes more.

    • kristiane says:

      I may have been misunderstood: I have zero problem with ladies (or men) dressing sexy/revealing for Halloween. I just appreciate it far more when the costume is not a regular profession turned into a stripper outfit. I mean, they have baseball uniforms that are sexy costumes for crying out loud. It makes no sense at that point. And I think you should request your wife go as Princess Leia.
      Sexy. Makes sense. Perfect.

      • zenestex says:

        Agreed. I’m not a fan of the bagged, Spongebob-Hooker type of costumes. But Slave Leia or Leeloo from Fifth Element are always welcome at any Halloween party I’m at. My wife poo’ed the Leia idea, but she’s open to Padme. I’m wearing her down.

  6. Amy says:

    Last year when I went out for Halloween I saw a man dressed as Cruella deVille, a girl dressed as Flo from the Progressive commercials, and many chubby girls in their plus-size sexy costumes (because they make those now).

  7. bluesuit12 says:

    No lie, the little girl dressed as Dwight is my friend’s daughter! That totally cracks me up that you posted it on here. Best kid costume I’ve ever seen I think.

  8. My costume ideas have been getting cheaper/lazier every year. I have actually considered getting one of those “This IS my costume!” shirts for a few years now. They still make those, right?

    But for ACTUAL costumes, I’d say I’d be a dead ringer for Scott Pilgrim (graphic novel version, naturally. I don’t look like Michael Cera).

  9. DJ D says:

    Little kid as Dwight is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time. I love it. I also love the look on the face of the kid dressed as the air freshener. She could not possibly look more uncomfortable.

    “Yeah, you done with the pictures? You good? Great, now get me the hell out of this thing. And get me a gee-dee juicebox while you’re at it. I look like an idiot.”

    p.s. Slave Leia is the best female costume ever.

  10. GavinSpaceFace says:

    I like the “This is my halloween costume” t-shirt. I find dressing up & costume parties to be childish and ridiculous. It’s not that I don’t like to party, I party ALL THE TIME, but I just don’t want to dress up like an idiot do to it. I don’t need to draw attention to myself like a child. Most people wear “masks” every day in their day-to-day life, so when they get a real excuse to actually wear a real mask on Halloween, they jump on it. Some of us don’t need to hide who we really are.

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