Unemployment is difficult for many reasons. Obviously, I want to pay my bills which have been shortly ignored. Hanging around the house because it costs five dollars minimum in gas to drive anywhere and back creates a prison like feeling. Being unable to purchase unnecessary items has been easier than I figured. But, this morning, I had an itch to peruse through my favorite guilty pleasure, US Weekly.
Currently, I have no more tabloid funds. I haven’t paged through an issue of US in months. I considered gathering the change out of my coin jar and driving to the nearest town, but decided against it. I’ll just see what I can find on the net.
Celebrity news is easy to find, every supposed legit news site has a page dedicated to smut and there are plenty of smut only sites. I’ve decided to re-report to you all the most important stories I came across. Yes, they are life changing important, follow closely:
This is beyond swell! I’m not speaking with sarcasm at all. Remaking movies like Robin Hood, IMO, is easy money. Get a famous actor, spend a good amount of money on special effects and make sure you link it with figurines to McDonald’s Happy Meal and your pretty much guaranteed to have the top grossing film of the summer. Depending on my love or detest of the actor/actress playing main character, I either never watch the film, or I am standing in line on opening day. I love Russel Crowe, despite his telephone throwing ways, so it’s a given I will see this film.
Which immediately made me think of Madonna, luckily it made the writer of the story feel the same way. This pic was also on the page:
I dunno, it seems like they are picking on aging ladies, calling them too healthy. Clearly they are consuming calories or muscles would diminish. It may not be the desired look by most standards of beauty in our society, but I say better strong and muscly than to embrace the middle aged granny gut.
At least 30 films from the ’80s are being revamped, including the comedies “Police Academy,” “Short Circuit” and “Private Benjamin,” horror fare like “Fright Night” and “Poltergeist,” actioners “Escape From New York,” “RoboCop” and “Red Dawn,” and everything in between from “Near Dark” to “Footloose”….
Whoop-dee-doo, Hollywood cannot find anything new to write…WAIT OMYGOSH DID YOU SAY RED DAWN!?!? “But, Kbell, it’s right wing propaganda from the Reagan era!” Don’t care, it’s Red Dawn, it’s forcefully epic and I will eat it with a spoon.
Scream it with me…”WOLVERINES!”
Let’s end with some superficial nonsense!
Kate Hudson had no boobs. Kate Hudson went out and bought boobs. Spencer Pratt tweeted this in response to her boobs:
“How is it possible to get breast implants and still not have breasts? Kate H – get ur money back…”
After and before shots of what is none of this married man’s business.
And America continues to loathe the reality star for obvious reasons.