WTF is what, Mommy?

I feel I should preface this story with the hard core truth that I never really curse. I blame the strict Baptist upbringing I had for my crystal clean vocabulary. Honest truth, I just don’t swear that often.

The other day, I saw a centipede the size of a football field running across my floor. It looked like a giant ball of fuzz, but being there is no wind blowing on the inside of my aparetment I was perplexed. I bent down to see if I could solve the moving fuzz mystery and yelped out without thinking, “WTF is that!?”

I made the mistake of shouting this while crouched at The Max’s height level. He crouched down beside me just as the Crocodile Hunter would during a fascinating discovery and replied, “WTF is what, Mommy?”

I expectedly lost it at that moment. I was laughing so hard that the fear of centipedes crawling on me while I was fast asleep was far from my concern.

I just heard my little angel say F*$k.

And to insure that I would continue with my laugh so strong that it was one of those belly laughs that made no sound, he added, “I cannot find it, WTF was it?”

So, that’s his freebie. I told him it was not okay to say that and Mommy was wrong. Next time he gets the soap.

About kristiane

killing spiders with my laser eyes.
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17 Responses to WTF is what, Mommy?

  1. Billy says:

    Ha Ha! You know he’s going to drop one of those in Target one day. Max is so funny.

  2. Amy says:

    it seems that the reason you DON’T swear is the exact same reason that i DO. i know, i’m such a rebel.

    your kid is the best.

  3. Dan says:

    That is too funny! Kids are so innocent when they’re younger.

  4. My daughter learned to swear young, but she always whispered the swear words, which was weird until I realized that she was copying me when I would change her diapers…

    And in other news, I’ve given you an award at my blog (and now I’ve notified you as “the rules” require).

  5. Hee! That is so funny! I just love how he was all perplexed and had no idea he was saying anything bad. That would have made it priceless.

    Oh and yeah, I laugh silently too. That’s when you know the joke is REALLY funny.

  6. kittymao says:

    I just adore when kids curse.
    My first niece learned to curse via too many adults not recognizing the presence of a child in the “tape recorder” age. I’m pretty sure we taught her FUCK. And then quickly un-taught her.

  7. dohopoki says:

    Speaking of large fucking bugs, the other night a mutant crossbreed of, I swear, a beetle, a spider and cricket that was about the size of a McDonald’s toy was crawling on my foot. Violently shaking my foot only caused him to climb up it higher. In the end, he got the fire extinguisher treatment.

  8. kristiane says:

    Billy- That is my hugest fear

    Dead- hey, THANKS!

    doho- pictures?

  9. dohopoki says:

    Believe me, I thought about it because this thing was just too big to believed without being seen. If I had gotten pictures, all of you would have cried, I guarantee it. But as it was, the camera was at the other side of the house and the idea of carefully walking there with a monster on my leg just so I could get a funny picture eventually lost out to the idea of me kicking my legs in panic and smashing the thing with a fire extinguisher.

  10. therealaprilrayne says:

    Too funny! It’s so hard not to laugh when little kids swear!!! I watch all those videos with kids saying, mole freckles and it sounds like they are saying “mother f******* hahaha. Always entertaining.

  11. mike says:

    Well this blog is the first thign that comes up for google image ‘centipede’ and the pic scared the crap outta me…I moved to NC a month ago and have seen three of these little guys….needless to say I am no longer walking around in bare feet. These things are way too much…..

  12. ianam says:

    Everyone says “fuck”. The taboo is stupid and outdated.

  13. ianam says:

    Oh yeah, I forgot why I came here … I just found one of those in my kitchen sink, and my reaction was “What the fuck ARE you?” I’ve seen centipedes before but none that looked like that. But now, looking at google images, I guess they’re pretty common.

  14. D says:

    I was at work on my break and decided to look up images of centipedes for my daughter. She had been asking me questions about them earlier. I came across this image and story, because I too had come across this same scenario. I began to read silently and then the magic began! This story unfolded and my day went from lackluster to side-busting funny. Thank you for sharing such an amazing experience. I really really really needed that laugh. I hope you don’t mind me sharing it. You should submit it to a funny jokes contest or something. Anyhoot….have a great day whoever you are.

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