At birth I took my sweet time entering the sterile world of the delivery room and my ears paid the price. The pressure on my soft cartilage cause them to stick out straight like handles on a large trophy for the world to grab onto. I am told that my distinctive ears were spoken of by family and friends and sometimes strangers.
By the time I was in pre-school, my mother had decided to take action. She didn’t want here baby girl teased for something she could control. So, at the tender age of four I went under the knife and was submitted to plastic surgery. I wonder if my parents, who were young and not yet established financially, paid out of pocket as any insurance company could see this was not a needed procedure.
For six weeks I wore an ace bandage around my head. This was to hold down my newly altered image. It was the first time I was aware that I looked different. I couldn’t play with the other kids on the playground at school. “You have to sit still or you’ll bump out your stitches,” Mom said. One day a little blond boy shoved me up against the toy box and did knock out a few, now that ear sags a bit. I call that one floppy.
After the bandages were off I rarely ever thought about my ears or that procedure again. Except when someone new came over to the house and saw the poster sized photo of myself and my two older sisters when I had my naturally sized ears. “Wow, you’re ears were big!” They’d say, as though we were unaware of the difference.

All these years later I am glad I had it done. I imagine I was spared from some cruelty that comes with childhood, though like everyone else, teasing was an ever present part of my young life.
I took that life sized photo out of my families home and now it sits in my own. I wonder sometimes while looking in the mirror what I would look like now with ears like teacup saucers. I also wondered if maybe it was a trait in my genes instead of an effect of childbirth. When I found out I was going to have Max I questioned if he would have those nice and convenient handles attached to the sides of his noggin. He came out with cute little normal sized ears. I am glad he did too. He ended up with my strawberry blond hair and that’ll be enough to get him through the junior high hallways he will walk in six short years.

About kristiane

killing spiders with my laser eyes.
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9 Responses to Ears

  1. Pingback: Cosmetic Surgery » Blog Archive » Ears

  2. tony says:

    sweet childhood memories .

  3. stephanie says:

    please share this picture. i never knew and would love to know the 1st kristiane!

  4. Thom says:

    Wow, I did not know that. For me it was the opposite… I was a normal child (albeit hyper-active and spastic) and then BAM! I grew 6 inches in one summer, and then 4 more inches over the next year. Now I can’t fit into foreign cars or text on a cell phone in a reasonable fashion (I think God laughs when my big fingers try to hit the little keys– “Hey Moses, check it out, he’s trying to spell ‘spaghetti'”)… did you ever see the movie “Employee of the Month” with Dane Cook (sweet segue, huh)? Jessica Simpson’s character has a similar affliction, which you might find humorous, and there are a few good one-liners tossed between Dax Shephard and Dane Cook. Anyways…


  5. Billy says:

    Big ears. Nope…can’t imagine them on you. Do you think you could’ve had better hearing if you didn’t have the procedure?

  6. kristiane says:

    Hmm..I suppose it;s possible, they were like satellite dishes and I am sure they would have caught much more

  7. tg says:

    I love that I am referred to in your blogs as “someone new.” Makes me sound mysterious…and boring.

  8. kristiane says:

    Hey. That picture was hanging in my house me whole life. You are one of the many someone news that saw it.

  9. tg says:

    “That picture was hanging in my house ME whole life.” What are you, cockney now? “Talley ho, guvernor! Me name’s Kristiane…welcome to me blog!”

    That was mean. And funny. And we both know that you were referring to me. 😉

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