Top 7 quirky Things About my Apartment

Last June I moved to a new apartment. Not just any apartment, my first apartment that I got by myself with out roommates and without a co-signer or a coughhusbandcough. It’s in a brick building with wooden floors and more charm than Martha Stewart would know how to handle. I had supernova stars in my eyes as I signed the lease. After moving in I found out why the rent was as cheap as it is:

7.There was at one time a rodent in it…moving on.

6.The parking stinks…

…stay with me. I cannot park on the north side of the street on Sunday nights. I cannot park on the south side of the street on Monday nights. I cannot park on the east end of the block for longer than a half hour. I cannot park on the west end for more than two hours. I can park in the middle of the block for as long as I wish if there is in fact a parking spot. When it snow more than 3 inches (and boy does it) I must find another spot to park my car from 9pm until 8 am during which I can park my car at the restaurants parking lot but only if I get permission, each time, and only if their lot has been plowed by 11pm. Whew!

5.I live on top of a (loud) pizza joint.

And this means that at pizza joint closing time (between 12 and 3am) The Pizza Boys TM turn up their stereo to ungodly levels. This would not be so bad if it were not for 2 things
#1 The building is prehistoric and I can hear literally everything that happens below me through my radiators
#2 The music of choice ranges from rap that I have never heard of to Boys II Men. Try sleeping during “End of the Road”. You cannot, you just end up grabbing the nearest object and using it as a microphone to sing into all the while banging your head against a wall.

4.I have no heat.
Sort of. I do have heat, but I have no idea how to turn it on. I can feel the heat from the pizza place when they turn it on. When they don’t I crank up the oven and open the oven door. Yup.

3.The ceiling leaks.

During last summers rain storms I woke up one morning totally soaked. Totally. First time since I was 4 I thought I’d peed my bed. And I did one time when I was 4 wet the bed at my grandma’s house. From that day until I was 14 years old and she passed away she made me sleep on a large garbage sack on the couch. I didn’t know how to tell her that I was potty trained. I didn’t even try.

2.The Rattling

Remember the pizza place I spoke of? Well they have to have hood fans. These hood fans make a noise similar to that of a train running underfoot, but probably not quite so loud. And the building shakes like there is a 5 point earthquake happening at all times. Well not at all times they don’t open until 11am. Those are good times.

1.I absolutely love it.

Even the noise and temperature challenges cannot take away from the joy of my first solo apartment. If I had a million dollars I would just buy the space below me and make it my downstairs cause this is the best home in the world. (and some day I am going to have it clean)