Rat (s)!

I am going to try the making a long story short here to get to the point behind the pictures I have:

About three weeks ago I heard some noises in my kitchen. I thought nothing of it, I live in a pretty bustling part of town and my kitchen window leads out to a main street. I figured the noise came from there. A week later I heard the same noise and it didn’t stop. It happened while I was talking on the phone to a friend and I was ignoring the friend because what I heard was something making supper out of my cupboard walls. Then, naturally, I had a cow.
The friend drove over to my house and was brave enough to open the silver wear drawer that was making beautiful music with the vermin clinking his way around the spoons and such. So, we found it, and the friend realized I was not imagining noises.
He (not I, I was fifteen feet back standing on a rubbermaid tub) went in with a skillet ready to smack it dead when we realized the rat had moved out of the silver wear drawer and back into the cupboard below. Ugh. So, after a trip to the store he set traps. Then we sat, and waited to hear a snap. And we did, not much later. The rat had gotten a good beating with not one but three traps. It still was not caught. Then it slithered it’s nasty little self into the wall. We then realized how easy it had been for the thing to enter in the first place. In between the last tenant and I there was some plumbing work done and they never sealed up the wall. There was basically a wall missing from under the sink that led right down to the street where there are several restaurants, dumpsters, etc.
With some quick thinking we nailed a board to the wall, shoved steel wool into every crevas and applied a ridiculously thick coat of Good Stuff, the expanding foam whatnot. As a precaution, I bleached pretty much everything in my house and emptied out the lower cupboards and set four more traps. Big ones, rat traps. Sure enough, a couple days later I heard that nasty little animal with the most revolting tail I have ever seen gnawing on the wall. I called my landlord and told him I wanted to see the Orkin Man and NOW. Then again I heard a loud bang. All noises stopped under the sink and I propped heavy things up against my cupboard doors and left it alone.
This is getting really long, so I will sum things up. I caught him for good. He is deceased. Not sure if it was the trap or the consumed steel wool that did him in, but he’s not with us any longer. But his paw is still attached to the trap and his body is down a hole. I wish I could explain exactly how pitiful this looks and I cannot. It was like he was reaching for freedom (and peanut butter) and was killed in his quest for satisfaction. Here’s an actual picture of him and one that I tried to do MS paint. You cannot see the paw well enough in the actually photo and that’s really the whole point of this nonsense.

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Luckily, I got the whole fiasco on video, so when I graduate to learning how to transfer VHS to digital I can share that too. If I have to see a rat, so do you. And if I have to see one ever again, I am moving.

And in closing, I have a really good friend.

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OK Soda

In the mid nineties, Coca-Cola decided to try out a new soda. They wanted to tap into the generation x market and create something that screamed anti-image. What their efforts produced was OK Soda. The soda that told you it was just fine to be OK. This brand was not trying to be exuberant or jolly. OK was not going to go to war with any other flavor. It was just there, and blah. The flavor was never described or even mentioned in marketing. The flavor was beside the point. It may be the first and only Soda to have had a manifesto. I took this off Wikipedia:

  1. What’s the point of OK? Well, what’s the point of anything?
  2. OK Soda emphatically rejects anything that is not OK, and fully supports anything that is.
  3. The better you understand something, the more OK it turns out to be.
  4. OK Soda says, “Don’t be fooled into thinking there has to be a reason for everything.”
  5. OK Soda reveals the surprising truth about people and situations.
  6. OK Soda does not subscribe to any religion, or endorse any political party, or do anything other than feel OK.
  7. There is no real secret to feeling OK.
  8. OK Soda may be the preferred drink of other people such as yourself.
  9. Never overestimate the remarkable abilities of “OK” brand soda.
  10. Please wake up every morning knowing that things are going to be OK.

One day after school a friends and I went to the soda machine to get something to keep us hyper on the bus ride home. The new button on the machine’s display intrigued us.

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We bought a couple cans. Both cans were noticeably different from one another and very peculiar compared to any other can designs we’d seen before. We bought as many we could, which was about three more. Fifteen year olds don’t have much cash. For whatever reason from that point on we claimed the drink as our own. We were too naive too see the ridiculousness of the way OK was pushed in an un-pushy manner. There was even an 800 phone number that you could call and listen to messages of other OK fans and why they felt OK about the product.

A year or so later the soda stopped showing up on shelves and I heard rumors that it was being discontinued. So bummed were we. This was near the time I discovered the internet and would spend time searching on infoseek every pop culture word I could find. One day I came across a “Save OK Soda” site. The site suggested writing Coca-Cola and telling them what you thought about not being able to drink the beverage choice of the over bored youth of America. So I did. A few weeks passed and I received a letter from Jennifer telling me that I was outta luck. Thanks Jennifer. Last week my mother sent me a box, as she does every month. These boxes contain among other things letters and photos from when I lived at home. The OK Soda reject letter was in this box.
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I decided to point out the key parts of my letter proving I had too much time on my hands.:

1.She thanked me, because Jennifer cares.

2. The awful news. The The end of the road. I had Kurt Cobain lying on the floor wearing maroon converse flashbacks.

3. Yes, Jennifer I was. Please rub my face in that.

4. You did not work hard enough. There has not since been OK soda at my table. Surge and diet/lemon/vanilla/coke do not count.

5. Jennifer signed her name. I would lick my finger to see if the ink is real, but the letter is from 1997 and that’s really old ink.

Moral: Distance make the heart grow fonder vs. Out of sight, out of reasonable judgment to spend your teenage years doing productive things and instead writing emails to corporate giants with zero chance of getting results.

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Post #1

More or less, I just want to get a post in so that I can see what it looks like so that I can edit with the editor hoopla. I was getting tired of having a MySpace blog and decided to see what more I could do with another site. So, whee! New blog!
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